Finally realised that even if the world turned their backs on me, I still have those dearest gems of mine to pull me up again...
I gave way to my heart, confronted those people that made me always suffering in silence and I have to tolerate every single thing about them to myself. Toss and turn around in bed, unable to sleep well like others. Thinking tons of matters in my head. Giving in to them, trying to be nice and forgive and forget just like what all others did. Controlling the tears that were going to fall. Stood on even though nobody's there to hold. All those sacrifices, finally found a breakaway and have disappeared. I'm not going to be that idiot who only knows how to give in to others and keep all complains to myself anymore. I'm not going to hold back my anger and make myself unable to sleep at night. I'm not going to punch the walls in my home anymore even if I'm boiling with rage inside. I'm not going to keep everything to myself anymore 'cos I know those gems around me, are always there for me. When I'm about to fall, there's always someone who's there and yet I only knew how to cherish that person until now. I discovered those hypocrites around me, those who betray, those who did everything they could to make me crash and burn. They want me to fall, I'll stand. They want me to cry, I'll hold those childish tears back. They want me to fight so I would get into trouble, I'll relent. I found out so many things about myself and those around me, when I'm not my usual self. I tried to be another person, and could actually see the things and the real people. Pretense is just a mask of hiding. I'm taking off that mask of pretense and I'm going to do things that are good to myself and my friends. The mask, is merely trying to cover the real person inside your heart. Be it good or bad, it covered everything and made people think differently of you. But remember, taking off that silly mask is way much more better than putting it on. Let others accept the real you instead of the pretending you. Through this experience, I have lost friends but there's this saying, "No pain, no gain" from Miss Heng, totally true. I wouldn't have found out so many things if I did not sacrifice. I never meant to start a war, but if you insist, I wouldn't care less about you. You are too hard for me to accept you for who you're. To be exact, there's definitely no more affinity between us anymore, 'cos I chose to take off that mask and reveal the true me. No point hiding behind something and being around with things that are totally fakes. It's worth for whatever I've done to realise that I've got those gems beside me, anytime, anywhere.
found this while bloghopping. @T-ranquil. nice eh?
I've learnt to forgive and forget. I know there are more around me. i know im gonna be fine when school reopens. i promise i'll stay strong. i know there are alot of dearies around me. there are alot of people that are much more important to me. of course those people are important to me too. but.... they're the ones that made me sad. but i know i cant be down because of them. i know i have much many more things i have to do when i grow up as time passes. i promised my grandma tht i'll work hard and i'll do whatever it takes to make my granny happy. family and churchmates plus friends are the most important. i cried alot for tht matter. i know they wont tear a single bit for this matter because it's not really important to them. im nothing to them but they're actually something important to me. it's just they dont know and since now i think i donthave the rights to say anything now. because even if i im sorry, they wont believe me anymore. i guess God really helped me to think alot now. i'm gonna change and i promise i wont be like tht in the future. i wont trust people easily now, all thanks to someone. but i dont blame her for that. i just felt sad because of that matter. i wont trust anyone anymore. except God & churchmates. they're the most important. i love you guys, churchmates. thanks for cheering me up when im dwn. you guys are the one that made me happy and make me wanna attend church everyweek. (except God).
thanks to:
I love you guys the most (other den kimberley la!) ♥
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